Unusual Holiday Gifts - Is it unusual for me to be upset at my husband for this?

Is it unusual for me to be upset at my husband for this?

It is our first Christmas together. He saw the effort I was putting into the holiday season and on Christmas morning I am shocked to find out the only thought he put into a gift for me was a card (unromantic) and lottery tickets. I took a shower and just could not stop sobbing thinking I am a bad wife that maybe doesn't give him enough sex or blow jobs, and is much too bitchy perhaps. I know he had money he spent over 30 bucks on the lottery tickets. I don't understand and feel full of resentment and self pity. I wonder if he is falling out of love with me already or if he is really that retarded. I don't mean to be ungrateful really, I just know he loves me more than that. Lotto tickets are so chancy and if they lose, I have nothing to remember our first Christmas gift. I got him jammies and undies..I would have been happy wtih that or even with a ROMANTIC card..not a card that would be suitable for some girl you been banging for the last 2 weeks, not your wife!

Public Comments

You should be upset, but not at yourself. He was retarted thinking that some lottery tickets was a good enough gift. I'll tell you this, the only time I short change my wife on X-mas is when I'm deployed, and I don't really have a choice.
I dont even know what to think of this. If you are really taking care of him like you said, then cut him off. Go on strike. If he cares about you at all, then he will start changing his attitude about you. If not, then you have the wrong husband. Or he really is that retartded.
Ok well I do agree that there is a reason for you to be upset. But, no I don't think that you should hold it against him. This is where talking in a relationship matters the most. 1st you have to tell him what is wrong with you. Then you have to understand where he is coming from. Maybe his family traditions as a child where different. Don't start to feel as if it is your fault or if you did something but, explain things to him. You have to prepare him and mold him. It's your 1st christmas together and a learning experience. Don't turn it into something it isn't. Merry Christmas!!
Your husband gave you a present and that's a good thing. He didn't really think about what a good gift would be for YOU though, did he? He gets some credit for thinking about you, but perhaps he needs some guidance in picking out gifts. His choice of gifts has nothing to do with you or how good a wife you've been. It has to do with his ability to pick out appropriate gifts during the holidays. In the future, either drop hints of the kinds of things you would like as gifts or ask his sisters or mother to help him shop. He probably WANTS to give you gifts that would make you feel special, but just doesn't have a clue. In the meantime, thank him for his gift and make the best of it. You two have a long time to teach each other how to take care of each other.
WOW, he sounds like a really inconsiderate and selfish cheap azz. I would never treat a woman like that. I agree with the other poster, cut him off. It's important for you to let him know how you feel.
That's so sad. I can understand that anyone would feel just the way you describe feeling. I'm surprised he didn't show signs of being such a thoughtless ignoramus before you got married. If he was able to do better before; then you can expect better now - regardless of whether you give him heaps of sex or not. A gift is supposed to show that one cares; it's not supposed to be a reward for services delivered. Sorry that your day was sad.
did you guys spend enough time to let each other know what you guys want for gifts? assumptions are our enemy!! did you pretend to like the gifts or did you talk about it? did he know you were crying? i know it's not easy, but it is very important to be honest... really. let him know that gifts matter a lot to you and it shows you how much you mean to him, therefore the gifts he gave you made you think negative things and hurt you a lot. explain to him, because the fact that he gave you those gifts show that he does not understand how you interpret the things he does for you. For you. he is thinking he is doing things for you to make you happy and it is not working, so you should let him know how to make you happy. i hope he's a good listener ^^ best of luck to you. everyone in relationships go thru shit like this. we're all learning little by little. give yourself and him a chance to learn more about each other day by day.
your husband is a cold selfish worthless Waste of human flesh, he should have been more thoughtful and considerate
My first Christmas I got a Fur coat. Second Christmas I got a blouse. From then on, I took him shopping for my presents and told him what I wanted....Worked out great after that!
If you hit the lotto it will be the best Christmas present ever ,right? I agree it was not that thoughtful--the old saying it is the thought that counts, also comes with but what the hell were you thinking? Let him know of things that you might like next year or buy something together that can be shared. Sorry that you had a lousy Christmas, I have been there!
Not every one does things the same way. You probably need to teach him your ways and listen to his ways and then work something out that is good enough for the both of you. Your sex giving probably has nothing to do with it. Some guys are just not romantic thats all, and are not Christmas minded. Give him a chance to learn the way you would like things. (smile)
Give the man credit for trying! Now go up to him and express your self so he can know better for v-day. Prep him for next
you are so ungrateful i bet if the lottery ticket was for a million dollars you would not be talking stupid give that man a wet kiss and thank him it was the thought that count
No, just retarded. Give him a chance to learn to be a husband. Just because he said the magic words "I do" doesn't mean the wisdom of the ages in marriage will automatically come to him. Hell, it took 2-3 years before I understood what is expected of me as a husband. And I've been married 20 years!
He's probably just that retarded...really. Some men are great at thoughtful gifts...some are not. Gently teach him throughout the coming year how to give a thoughtful gift and maybe he'll learn something from you... Maybe he has less money than you think and was hoping the money would come in handy for you if you had a winning ticket?? I mean would you have been less disappointed if you scratched off a $25,000 winner??? lol Don't hide your emotions in the shower. If you feel bad about something it's honestly better to express it. If you don't how will he ever know how you feel? I know you didn't want to seem like a b!tch on Christmas ......but it's not the end of the world to gently tell him that you're a little disappointed. Another suggestion. Tell someone close to him (mother, father, brother, friend) and maybe that person will help clue him in. I've helped guide many friends husbands in the gift giving department. Us women tend to be a little more personal when giving gifts... Good luck and hang in there. You'll have plenty of years together for him to learn how to give nicer gifts......he'll teach you what kinds of gifts he likes too! Merry Christmas! and Hugggggggggg
Small gift may be Better than A large one IF he give it to you in a Romantic time .
Just hope like hell that one of them tickets is a winner!!
If it helps you feel better, I got a flashlight, a gas can and jumper cables for the first Christmas. Honestly, he probably was wishing he could give you a million dollars and bought the lottery tickets to show that. I think you can explain what presents mean to you so that he understands that for you, presents are a way of saying you care and that your spouse means a lot to you. I am sure he is not falling out of love with you. I suspect he has a good heart with good feelings and lots of love and is truly just clueless.
He sounds like a total loser. I hope you find a divorce or a thoughtful boyfriend in your stocking next year.